wind tunnel

he grabbed my arm, looked into my eyes
and insisted i promise to leave him my sweater in my will
(sometimes it pays to dress like a cute little skater boy)

later he called me beautiful, handed me a gauloise
and then threw himself into the arms of another
(the good ones know better than to mistake me for a french woman when there's a real one at my side)

almost

my friend saw him at the gym the other day
he was wearing ugly trackpants but
i bet he was still hot

resist the temptation to make my same mistakes over and over and over again
i guess this is growing up

read me to sleep

good night, friend

gold

why are short bald weird asian men so sexy?

why can't men talk about their feelings?

we pondered these questions over french fries and wine

they are compelled to never grow up.

we wait (and sometimes we cry when we get tired of waiting and wondering)

going home

so many little notes i have scribbled to myself the past few days
but what really matters, i can't quite say and he simply won't

by way of flirting, he sends me a picture of the girl of his dreams
she's the opposite of me

he's here but not
keep reminding myself to live what's right now

spent valentine's evening watching bits of romantic french movies on the internet with my best
keep reminding myself that my desire for a version of a certain future is better off not working out

remembering how it goes
i already know how it ends
at least, this far...

out of sight, out of mind
it's true
more sad to see him stay now than to see him go

living with a clown

gay men make the best boyfriends
today we went to the circus to see where he works

then we had the best dinner ever

sauce byriani, mozz. fraÎche, noix de pin, fenouil grillé, cumin torréfié

the guy who delivered our wine, he was a plant whisperer too

 

culture club on the radio, dance my happy way home

buy yourself something frilly

flashback: i knew my marriage was over when i left town for a week and he wasn't dying for me to get back

nothing says quebec in the winter like rockers in tight jeans and crazy train on the radio...