dirt mother

We spent today in fiery undertow
Swirling air and billows of smoke and your breath...
Red
Kiss me on the lips in greeting
"And then came the rain"

A unicorn floats between worlds
I stare at the back of your neck
Only a woman understands the nature of your drive
Sink, deep

I see who sees this truth
I see who hides
I see myself as your heartbreak slips magically through our hands
Going nowhere...

Shake my head, yes...
(too tired for this fight)
I come home and fall into a heavy, black sleep

pretty girl dress

met a kid like yours today
on the occasion of this french photographer's fascination
no words
i described you as my secret lover
there's that look of recognition that passes over their eyes
it gives everything away
it's all that i can do...

i wanted to send him this song but the rules have changed...

"stay out of my dreams"

his friend does not sparkle.

adonis in blue

last night i listened to evil doing lines over the phone
and when he sighed and said my name
i realized he left me behind to save me
he loves me, he loves me not...he loved me.

next, a message and a vision in my dreams
"don't give up on me just yet"
doorways and openings
i thought it was the drummer but realized later it may have been the sailor,
when a new one appeared to me as both (but only as symbol, let's be realistic)
she asked if i was still writing and then tried to hook me up with her perfect much younger son
if only i'd known at twenty-six what i know now...

tonight is the night i pick a fight with the gods
i thought that, but then he remembered me and there was no longer any need...
content (at last) to spin endlessly around this moon
such a shame they choose to turn down the volume lest her song pierce their souls

enfin

sometimes, it's just over

dear men...

flattery will get you everywhere. just sayin'.

news of the day:

- just spent hundreds of dollars on computer parts i only half understand because the dude i used to babysit when he was a kid told me to. (don't worry, he's a grownup professional now and he's going to do magic with them...but holy lesson in trust/faith/not being a control freak for a change).

- thoughts on age - all the guys my age are a mess, locked in histories in their heads (or because of their kids) with the girls they used to love. it's boring and tiring. how hard is it to be polite and/or grow a pair to just say you're not into me/it/this? musicians are the worst, the lot of them.

- older men, on the other hand, will buy you dinner and tell you you're pretty and send you funny stories and pictures of camels from their travels.

- (where is my middle?)

- wondering whether it would be more fun to go to sedona with a lawyer or a lighting designer...

- my cats really like potatoes and bathtubs and falling asleep in my arms (but only in the morning).

- feminist jungian psychology will save my sanity. everything can be explained, all you have to do is walk into the used book store and look on the right shelf on the right day. thank you fate and curiosity...i'm off to talk to my dreams.

always already

*emo alert*

it has been about a year now since the last time my heart got ripped out of my chest, thrown on the ground (still beating), and stomped on (repeatedly).

ah, memories...