sparkle snow

i couldn't decide what to write about today
felt like nothing happened
i was cranky when i woke up
(they don't love me enough)
talked on the phone to an old teacher - she was more wise and less crazy than i remembered
ate a donut for lunch
taught myself to edit video on a pc

loud annoying dude on his cell phone sat behind me on the bus
glad i resisted my headphones or i wouldn't have heard
"are you coming over soon? good. can you do me a favour? call the 700 club and ask them to pray for me. i'm having a really hard time at school. also ask them for some forgiveness..."
that last part was apparently worth repeating. don't know what he did, but probably all of us could use a dose of it so i guess no harm in asking...
(he got more quiet when he noticed my notebook and pen creep out of my bag, but proceeded to talk anyway about not knowing what's real...mental health problems and conversations about meds, they find me, they do...and what is this world where people talk about these things on their cell phones while riding the bus?!? i AM old, it's true)
cute-ish guy up front trying to catch my eye...split focus...but crazy always wins.

laundry
red pepper alfredo sauce, strawberry ice cream and expensive red wine
watched a little tv
watched a commercial targeted to my demographic about "light bladder leakage"
might as well just kill myself now
thought about how all i can think about when i walk over the big bridge is how people go there to die, who does that?
never me, too scared to even walk near the edge
we used to talk about that...what would happen if we drove our cars over a cliff?
it's time for him to come back, my call is out to the universe
just one more...
time to get over it and move on

(note to self - you can't make the final cut if you're not even at the shoot)