little raccoon

tonight a woman came into my office,
asking to use the phone to call for help,
there was a raccoon at number 64,
down the street,
badly injured,
dragging his legs behind him,
with what looked like a bone sticking out,
shivering...

i called the humane society -
there was no answer,
at the emergency number for reporting animals in distress.

next
the spca told me
to hang up and call my local humane society,
if it was an emergency about an animal in distress.

a moment to think.

i called the city animal control number
the man who answered told me that in ten minutes
it was likely the animal was gone,
that he had seen them run up trees in that condition.
he said if i went outside and it was still there,
i could phone from my cell and they would send someone,
but i'd have to wait and watch until they arrived
"in an hour or less"

bundled up,
took my wallet,
but forgot my hat
walked down the street
no raccoon
no blood
no trace

bought food,
walking back
i found him in the walkway between two houses
68 and 70
quite a walk
for a guy with no legs...
he looked at me
fear and pain in his eyes
and then he dragged himself to the backyard,
to safety?

i stood back
left him his space
and soon enough he reappeared
dragged himself to a tree
and stood
contemplated
hoped
and turned away
back to the space between the houses
out of the blowing snow
but not out of the minus fifteen degree cold
and not out of pain

he stared at me again
and i promised him help was on the way
i didn't expect them to save him
just to end his suffering

the white van arrived,
forty minutes later
she was silent and stoic
she had no interest
in hearing about the little guy's heroic last push

she took her net
he fought
as much as he had left
(not much)
she swung the pole over her shoulder
he hissed and thrashed
as much as he had left
(not much)
she marched him back to the van
and as i stood by
horrified
helpless
she dumped him into the back
without ceremony
and closed the doors.

a moment to think.

i hope
she took it easy around the corners,
driving back to the shop
i hope
they put him down quickly,
with the needle i wish she had used
in the back of the van
i hope
he forgives me
for trying to help him avoid
dying
afraid
and
alone