little vampire wishes

i wish i believed you
i wish i still believed in you
i wish you were here
i sometimes wish he wasn't,
or rather maybe that he was

i wish there didn't have to be a choice
i wish that rhyming wasn't passé
(something here, about your voice...)

i wish i hadn't run out of poetry
i wish i could make it all go away

i wish you were here (again)
i wish i could go there
i wish it were different

i wish growing up didn't have to mean
giving up, giving in

i wish i could see the back of my head
i wish i could see your face
i wish we lived in the same world

i wish you hadn't given up
i wish we could talk about how we both gave up
i wish someone would tell me how to come back to life
without feeling like i'm dying at the same time

i wish he hadn't called me gloomy
i wish she hadn't either
i wish they weren't always so right
and i wish they would tell me more

i wish there was time to talk
i wish there was time to sleep
i wish there was time to do it all

i wish i knew what to do

road trips

i don't know.
i just don't know.

my bangs are too short.

roots

walked home in the rain at midnight
nirvana and my new haircut
stuffed under my hat

he loves me again

***

RIP Kenny MacLean

insomnia

how do you stop once you've started?

for the sake of my sanity, i needed to stop believing the secret messages were for me...but i miss them.

salty cookies

dancing with myself
talking to myself
talking in my sleep
all's quiet now

we are going to take my failure
and turn it into art for stupid rich people

silly girl

no conflict
no drama
no poetry
is that the fear?

i made a really good lasagna tonight

nightshade

only time will tell if waiting was the best or stupidest choice i ever made.

dave st. pierre

umbrellas are essentially useless tools on a windy night down by the lake

new order on the subway, i'm dancing.

dog walking

the answer is yes

calling my own bluff

sugar for breakfast, I'm a little bit mental
I think I'm just going to leave it broken this time

tomorrow I'll go back and we'll see what I find. maybe kindness, a good job, and nice eyes are enough to trump poetry and brains. I'm gonna bet that baggage is the deal breaker...not that I'm one to talk...

melting into frozen

or ice cream in bed

at a loss for words
a loss of breath...
the wisdom of age, finally
finding him was never actually the hard part

i will lie awake again
ceilings obscured by my defeat
none of it ever means anything
that's sort of the trick,
isn't it, boys?

particle theory

just when I think you’re gone, you’re not
do you notice when I disappear?
absurd existence
we never know
and so we go
on
with faith in belief
and magic in cycles
by the light of the (once again) full moon
I listen for you
but waiting is for fools
who think they know what tomorrow might bring
I’d like it if I were here
when you decide to return

nachos

i have (almost) finished writing the beginning
and so
now i can choose which ending to use

side note: i think i am developing a taste for jalapenos

i am not a stripper

earlier this evening i was a little bit infatuated with myself.
(it has now passed)

yes, that means the writing goes, slowly but well.

when i start making up words, though, it's time to go to sleep.

karma

when i was nine, i thought braiding ribbons into your hair was the coolest thing ever.

it would be many years before i would come to understand that boy george was/is a transvestite.

this story brought to you by...nothing beats having the soundtrack of your life pumped over the loudspeakers of the near deserted grocery store just before closing time.

i suppose most of us long for the times when it was all so simple. for once, i won't insist on my difference.

loop

i feel like i should say something to you but i don't know what it is.

sometimes i go for a while without seeing any pictures.

sometimes i wish i could sing.

hope

i'm glad we went to bed happy last night
a day of rest
sun shining
warm air
pretty orange carpet of leaves
birds singing
the tired that comes when you reach the top of the hill
now it is bubbles and songs and sleep and dreams
and the hope that tomorrow
we wake up happy again

firestarter

this morning two crazy fat ladies charged this other lady for a seat on the empty subway. i was glad it wasn't me...shit like that on no sleep can really ruin your day.

then, a gift or two.

now the world is a different place. now we can smile. now i am ready to try again.

who knows, maybe one day i will even wake up to find a unicorn at the foot of my bed.

i hate waiting, but tonight i didn't mind. maybe for the next while, i won't mind.

maybe tonight we can change our minds.

paint it black, indeed.

fountain

remember billy ocean?
"get out of my dreams, and into my car"?
well, i made up a new version...
get out of my head, and into my bed -
except, see, not really,
i'm trying to work.
so, perhaps you could go away
just for a little while...
i'd appreciate it.
okay, thanks.
bye.

p.s. internet poll - who thinks it would have been superfun to have marcel duchamp as a friend?

as soon as i'm done

snacks at three
no sleep for me

cheesy poetry...

you and you and
you and he

no edits

you
me

back in time

lots of that going around these days.

learning to fly

caution
wind
"I have to get better at this."
she showed me again
my path is to see