so many thoughts and yet none

according to einstein, god does not play dice with the cosmos
but merce cunningham did
as a young student i was terrified at the idea of using elements of chance procedure in dance performance
afraid of mistakes, unaware (yet) that improvising is really just a lot like living
ironic now, so much am i a subject of lady fortune and her caprice

a pirated photocopy, a gift from a friend...
i swore to never distribute it so you didn't read it here
rule 9: be happy whenever you can manage it. enjoy yourself. it is lighter than you think.
(from "10 rules for students and teachers," typed and handed out by john cage in his classes at the cunningham studio in new york, at around this same time my worldview was exploding)

tonight, a line from a poem i wrote when i was a teen
just before the veil of fear was lifted from my eyes
stuck...really, i don't know
i went looking, in the spirit of breaking my own rules
in times like these one must be able to laugh at oneself
but the dig was too deep
easy to dismiss, not worth it
sometimes i suppose shit is meant to be left buried

from rule number six: there is no win and no fail

with gratitude to two of the greats
and peace to mr. cunningham as he joins his love in the silence

Here we are. Let us say Yes to our presence together in Chaos.
- john cage