blue unicorns, red licorice, green mohawks

from the email that spies on conversations to halprin to a yoga centre named after the virgin mary madonna to babaji to mangala to sanjaya now shawn to the other woman who wasn't but showed me who was to the buddhist jew to the pious who use it to mask their indecency as humans to my broken heart that still beats to belated christmas gifts to forti to ucla to san francisco and plans of what might be...

i dreamed of her baby boy crying in a crib in the corner while everyone danced but me...i spoke to him and he stopped so i took him away thinking it was the right thing to do, she was angry. despite this we found adventures and bad guys, he shot beams from his eyes that coated the windows like the back of the theatre and we were hidden and safe but forty floors up. down some stairs down below grass and trees round the back and at the side of the building he was there but it was okay...a disguse, this grown up now was my best friend hindu deity (half monkey hanuman maybe) dressed in a black lace bra...we laughed

no motivation, i still miss my best.

in the guise of older secret me she promised relief if i would just let go. we will celebrate in the cafeteria perhaps and she will never know of the life that granted me an image of my past dressed up like henry rollins for halloween.

so we dance...