the death of a zombie junkie mouse

i am learning a lot this week about will and desire and survival
they are not the things i thought i would find
it is impossible to lose something you never had
but return is another story entirely
space and our relationship to it matters
people and their feelings matter
trances are fun but they make victims
vigilance, attention, care, and consistency
this is the way
there is a difference between going back to find yourself
and going back to disappear
and just when you think it's over...
sometimes,
it's not